With the end of one season behind us, it brings to mind many things that end (the end of seeing people in way-too-little clothing, the end of peace and quite in the morning, the end of steaming hot subway cars…).
To me, it brings about memories of past relationships.
Not that many of my relationships have ended in the fall as opposed to any other season (cause that wouldn’t be true), it’s more of the fact that the end of the summer brings about strong memories for me.
When I say relationships, I don’t just mean ex-boyfriends: ex friendships, ex jobs, ex commitments…you name it, I have a branded memory of it.
When I was younger, summer always had a special place in my heart: off of school for three months, hanging out late, getting into all sorts of assorted trouble. But as I have changed in the last few years, so has my outlook on summer, relationships, and life in general.
In the past three years, I have ended many things…I ended my life in New York City, I subsequently ended many friendships, I ended my school career, I officially ended my childhood, I ended my innocence, I ended my whole life.
I am going on and on about ending, but as the saying goes, “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” (thanks Semisonic). So even though I ended all of the above, I started many other things too: a new relationship, a new job(s), a new set of friends, a new set of responsibilities, a new life in a new place, a new outlook on life in general.
But of course (as it seems to be with me) nothing lasts forever, and I soon started another cycle: dumped boyfriend, moved back home, re-connected with people, got myself together (slowly yet surely), got back in school, got a new job, made some new friends.
So where does it leave me? Right back at the beginning? Yes and no.
Even after all of the shit I have been through (and there has been loads), I like to think that all of the drama, the heartache, the tears, and the pain has made me into a stronger person, and there is nothing in the world that I would take back in all of my experiences.
Funny how little things like the changing of the seasons can make you sit back and re-evaluate your life, huh?