I’ll have to try and remember this.
I used to be so gung-ho about getting shit done… then somewhere along the way, that part of me died, and I’ve never quite gotten it back.
I’ve spent the last 6 years of my life in an apathetic cloud…. and I need to break out of it. I am so afraid of failing that I sabotage myself and when it doesn’t work out…. self fulfilled prophecy indeed.
Now, I have a great opportunity, and I am just so fucking scared of failure… and success. What if I don’t get it… but what if I do? So much inner turmoil, it’s insane.
Today I decided to work on my resume and cover letter for a yob opportunity. I waffled and lurked online for a few hours, but I finally nutted up and started researching how to write a cover letter and a writer’s resume… and I got to work. I wasn’t initially feeling this whole thing but I looked around me and realized if I don’t try, I’d be stuck here in my mom’s house forever.
SO I started writing.
I got halfway through my cover letter, got some tips and hints to reference, and put it aside for now. I decided to tackle my sad little writer’s resume instead. Two hours later, I have a writers resume I can be proud of. I am a damned good writer, and I seem to have forgotten that. I let all the dumb shit that’s been happening bog me down and settled for working all these shit yobs just for the money.
You gotta fight for what you believe in, or else why bother? I don’t want to be another unhappy office wench/retail worker just to bring in a paycheck. Once upon a time, I was a young college student with a popular newspaper column, a sparkle in my eye, and an ambitious goal of being a writer.
I want that girl back.
I think applying to this yob is a step in the right direction.
And if I don’t get the position, that’s OK. At least I know that I now have a more respectable resume and I can always try again for something else.